It is getting harder to find Mr. or Mrs. Right. Just ask any young person how their last relationship went.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, since the 1970s the average age for newlyweds has risen from about 23 years old to 28 for men and 20 to 26 for women.
Are we to blame Nicholas Sparks for writing such perfect love stories like "The Notebook," where a young romance blossoms flawlessly, ending suddenly? Or do we blame our culture for broadcasting shows like "Jersey Shore" where the focus is on partying and hooking up with different people every night?
Whoever or whatever we blame, one thing is certain: Many young people have lost their sense of romance, turning marriage into a dying institution. Gone are the days of formal courtship, replaced by the days of hooking up and making out.
Turn on the television and it's there. Take a wrong turn in the bookstore and it's romance novels galore. Then, take a good look around our campus on any Thursday, Friday or Saturday night. It is rare to see men holding doors open for women, going on dates, having intelligent conversations, establishing a strong foundation for a flourishing relationship. In many cases, boys act like dogs, hounding after women for five minutes of pleasure. This attitude seems to have replaced any desire for long-term commitment.
And while a single cause for rising marriage ages cannot be determined, many factors can affect decisions to get married. For one, marriage is expensive. The average wedding now costs between $21,000 and $24,000, according to smartmoney.com. From there, the statistics only get worse.
If a couple wants a family, they can expect to drop around $222,360 to raise a child to the age of 18, according to an article in the June 2010 issue of The New York Times. With these staggering costs, which don't include costs of taking care of one's spouse, much less sending a child to college, marriage is facing a bleak future.
Divorce rates are also on the rise, being 50 percent for the first marriage, 67 percent for the second marriage and a whopping 73 percent for the third marriage, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology. These statistics make many people gun-shy, not wanting to make a commitment that will have adverse effects on their child and their own well-being.
Aside from statistics, people just don't seem as anxious to get hitched anymore. Many may wish to experience college as single young adults and enter the world on their career path experiencing life without being tied down to a significant other.
Ultimately, marriage is an individual choice. Only you will know when to get married and, more importantly, who to marry. It may take more time than desired, but this will allow for people to grow as individuals and bring as much to the marriage as possible. According to a survey sponsored by the National Fatherhood Initiative, people who married between the ages of 23 and 27 have the best chance for a successful marriage.
Taking time to grow and experience life without the restraints of commitment may allow for a more empowered marriage later in life. While this means the institution will suffer, it provides a chance for more working marriages if couples are willing to work to resolve issues before jumping to divorce as the answer.