Elon University alumna Stacy Laue, Class of 2009 left her hometown roots for employment as a team leader for United Guaranty Corporation in Greensboro. Moving from Jacobstown, N.J. has been a challenge socially. The Pendulum asked her to reflect on her transition from student to resident in a new city.
Q: How is Elon different from "the real world?"
A: Elon was an incubator for loving relationships and friendships that are built to last. In my opinion, I’m stocked up pretty full of friendships that will last a very long time — “lifers,” as my mother calls them. It’s hard to open yourself up to new friendships and relationships when you’ve got all of these great ones already.
But think back to when you were graduating from high school and had the same opinion. There are people that fade away with time and distance and departing interests, and that’s just a fact of life — plain and simple. It’s natural for people to enter your life for a season and then drift off once you’ve grown and learned from each other. The same thing will probably happen this time around.
Q: What can I expect living in a new city?
A: I’ve battled this loneliness since I graduated, as people drifted out of my life. Sometimes it’s pretty obvious, when the phone calls get kind of awkward and you struggle for common ground and things to talk about. Other times it’s much more subtle, where you can’t really put your finger on it, but you know that something’s changed. What I face is the need for the strong relationships I had such immediate access to while at Elon. I wish I had best friends right across the hall or just down the street. I’ve struggled to make new friends. Maybe it’s because my standards are so high. Maybe it’s because I’m borderline workaholic material, and I don’t spend much time outside of the office. Maybe it’s because I fear going out on a limb and becoming vulnerable to someone I don’t even know.
Q: What can I do to accept the challenges of moving?
A: In the end, I think it all boils down to good, old-fashioned fear. I fear change and the unknown above almost anything else. I don’t even know where to go to make new friends. So I’m not going to glaze over this issue and say it’s super easy, and you’ll have no trouble. You might have a really easy time of it, and you won’t have to worry about this at all. For me, once a social butterfly, this has been extremely hard. Luckily, I’ve made amazing friends at work, and that fills some of my friend needs. But there are times when I wish I had great friends like I did in college, where we could do nothing but sit on the couch and watch video montages on YouTube and have the best time doing it. It’s definitely a process and I’m still working on it, but I’ll let you know how it goes.