SPARKS Peer Education hosted a discussion about consent called “Can I Kiss You?” Tuesday, Sept. 13 in McKinnon Hall. Headed by speaker and award-winning author Mike Domitrz, the event was billed as, “a fun-filled look at relationships and consent,” and covered topics ranging from recognizing and stopping sexual assault to how to respond if someone says, “No,” to the question, “Can I kiss you?”

The audience engaged with Domitrz as he showed call-and-response prompts and encouraged volunteer participation. Domitrz opened the discussion with humor by calling for volunteers to demonstrate where they’d touch someone to signal that they wanted to kiss them, then assuring the audience amid laughs, “This is a clean show.”

He shared scenarios and stories about the dangers of not asking for consent, including a scenario about seeing someone advancing on a drunk stranger at a party. Despite the stranger’s gender, Domitrz stressed that whether they consented to what was happening was something everyone needs to be aware of.

 “It’s written in your DNA to take care of other human beings,” Domitrz said. 

He continued by sharing the story of his sister Cheri, who was raped in 1989. Domitrz said his first reaction was to seek revenge on the rapist, but he realized that would remove her choice on how to proceed. Instead, he decided to do something about consent issues going forward.

“Am I — or are all of us — hypocrites when we say rape is awful when it happens to someone we love, but say nothing when it happens to people we don’t know?” Domitrz asked.

According to a 2015 survey by the Association of American Universities, “23 percent (of female college students) said they experienced some form of unwanted sexual contact.” While consent is not a college-only issue, Domitriz implied that college campuses are havens for engaging in conversations about what consent is and how it should be given. The recent sexual assault case by former Stanford University swimmer Brock Turner has also sparked a national dialogue about this issue. 

Asking for permission before kissing someone can seem awkward, but Domitrz said it is a person’s lack of confidence and sexual maturity that makes the situation awkward.

Domitrz, who is married, said that he still asks his wife Karen for permission before doing anything sexual, even after years of marriage.

“When you treat others like a gift, you receive amazing gifts in your life,” he said.